Friends With Benefits
by dcandthebirds112446
Summary: Can two friends really just screw around? Or can things get complicated no matter what relationship you have? Read to find out as Rachel Roth a company head hunter and her client Richard Grayson put this theory to the test. Rated M for a reason. Not smut.
1. Prologue

**A/N:Okay so Friends With Benefits. Another movie fan fic. I'm loving this movie as I'm watching and typing down little notes for myself about the scenes and everything. I'm just in love with the actors' performances and the writing is damn good too. And Unfortunatley I don't own most of it(any of it) here.**

**DISCLAIMER- I DON'T OWN FWB, TT, GQ, or a fushigi. And I really want a fushigi lolz. Enjoy the prolouge!**

* * *

><p>"Alright guys. We can ditch a few of these pictures." Richard touched the screen and deleted some unnecessary photos from the web page's front site. Being the head art editor was pretty hard but at the same time, he got paid for doing what he did best and he enjoyed his work. As well as his friends.<p>

"Okay that was a great idea for the page on sports Linda but,-" he started to give out her notes before his cell phone went off. _'During a meeting?' _he wondered. He reached for his cell but knocked a cup of coffee over and made it spill on his pants. "Shit!" he hissed. He recovered and answered the phone. "Hello?"

* * *

><p>With Rachel.<p>

"Hey babe where are you? Are you still at work?" she asked irritated slightly. She knew her boyfriend had a tendency to put things off till the last minute.

* * *

><p>With Richard<p>

"Wha- no." he lied to his girlfriend. "Are you kidding me? I'm almost there." he said before turning the phone away from his mouth and turned to a guy sitting in the chair next to him. "Give me your pants."

"What?" he asked.

"I'll buy you lunch tomorrow." he offered.

"No way!"

"I'm your boss. Just give me your pants."

* * *

><p>With Rachel<p>

"Just to let you know the movie starts in ten minutes." she said still walking.

* * *

><p>With Richard<p>

"I know. I know." the guy was taking off his pants and he revealed to the entire office that he never wore underwear. Richard turned to the _other _guy next to him who was already taking off his belt. With a very quick change and a jump in the car he was off to see his girlfriend.

* * *

><p>With Rachel<p>

"Okay well I'm here."

* * *

><p>With Richard<p>

"Me too. I'm walking right now. I _think _I see you. There are so many people. What are you wearing?" he said looking for a place to park.

* * *

><p>With Rachel<p>

"I'm wearing the only clothes outside the theater. Because I'm the _only one _outside the theater." she rubbed the bridge of her nose.

* * *

><p>With Richard<p>

"I've always loved that outfit on you. You look so sexy in it." he tried to kiss up.

* * *

><p>With Rachel<p>

"You know I love this movie. I mean if a hooker and a rich business man can fall in love, then anyone can."

* * *

><p>With Richard<p>

"Yes. I know how important it is to you. So its important to me too." he ran down the sidewalk.

* * *

><p>With Rachel<p>

"Apparently it doesn't." she sighed

* * *

><p>With Richard<p>

"I see you. I'm coming right now." he hung up the phone and wrapped his arms around Catalina from behind.

* * *

><p>With Rachel<p>

"Rachel!" she heard her name being called and she turned around to see Jason.

"Hey." he gave her a quick kiss. "Sorry I'm late."

"It's fine I guess." she said. Before pulling two sandwiches out of her bag. "I got us sandwiches for the movie. Plain Turkey on Rye for you." she handed it to Jason and started walking towards the theater entrance before she realized he wasn't following.

"What's up?"

"We need to talk." he said point blank.

* * *

><p>"I think we should take a break." Catalina said.<p>

"Your serious right now?" Richard asked.

* * *

><p>"I just think we need to chill for a while." Jason told her.<p>

"Your doing this? Right now?" Rachel asked calmly.

* * *

><p>"You're really breaking up with me for being late and missing one John Mayer song?"<p>

* * *

><p>"You said I was your soul mate."<p>

"I did? When?" he looked confused.

"When we were at that bed and breakfast together, having sex." she whispered in disbelief.

"That doesn't really-"

"Doesn't really what?"

"Count." he scratched the back of his head as Rachel smacked the sandwich into the street.

* * *

><p>"I got tied up at work. I'm sorry!"<p>

"Have you ever considered that you should focus less on your job and more on your girlfriend? Because I'm pretty sure there's one that will assure you that just because when we have sex and you like a finger near a certain place, doesn't mean your gay. While the other one doesn't."

"It's not like I asked you to go up in there! I just said around. There's a certain area there. Like a button." he tried to explain while she just held her head in her hands. "Nevermind. It's not your problem anymore."

* * *

><p>"So is that why you were late? You were figuring out how to dump me?"<p>

"No actually. I just couldn't figure out what to wear."

"So you went with a hoodie and sneakers? Are you taking SAT prep after this or something!" she lashed out.

"Don't lash out. You're better than that Rachel."

"No. I'm really not." she continued.

* * *

><p>"You know what thank you. For doing this before that concert." he said. "You saved me so much more misery."<p>

Catalina just rolled her eyes.

* * *

><p>"Can I at least ask why?" Rachel leaned against a wall.<p>

"Sure. Well you seem like you've got it all together but your emotionally damaged. And your eyes are purple, and you refuse to get contacts. That's always really freaked me out."

"Okay." she held out her hand to stop him.

* * *

><p>"It's not you. It's me."<p>

"You don't get to say that though. You're the one dumping me." Richard said still pissed

"But its true. It's not you! It's me. _I _don't like _you _anymore!" she emphasized. "You're a great guy. A little bit too emotionally unavailable, if you ask me-"

"Yeah I didn't." he said narrowing his eyes.

"I still want to be friends. Okay?"

"Yeah sure." he agreed as she ran into the concert.

* * *

><p>"I'd like to be friends." Jason asked.<p>

"Whatever." Rachel agreed as she walked away and called Karen. When she arrived they got a coffee and started talking.

"I've got to stop buying into these bullshit Hollywood happy endings." They passed by posters of romantic comedies and Rachel screamed at one of them. "Shut up Katherine Heigl. You stupid liar." Karen just laughed as they continued walking.

* * *

><p>"You know what." Richard said to his brother Tim. "I'm just going to have sex and work. I'm done with relationships. Like George Clooney."<p>

* * *

><p>"I'm going to start focusing on my profession. Like... like George Clooney." Rachel decided.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This is the prologue. I'm super excited to be able to finish this before school starts again. I can't believe its August. Any ways. There it was. Oh how wonderful this was to write. It really was awesome to write. Read and Review! Thanx**

**Much Love and Respect**

**~Poppie~**


	2. Like Cracking Your Neck andor Tennis?

**A/N: Chapter freaking one. Love this one and the way it ends. Hope you will too!**

* * *

><p><strong>The Next Morning<strong>

"I've found the perfect guy to fill the position at GQ. He's an art director from Gotham." she spoke into her cell phone. She had to change her shirt in the cab and didn't want the driver staring her up and down.

"Excuse me sir. What's that over there?"

"The Jump City Titans Bridge." he looked out as she changed quickly.

"Thanks." Rachel got to the airport and picked Richard up. He was lean but built. He was in a suit with a one strap art portfolio around his shoulder. He had stunning blue eyes and black hair. He had a smile on as he walked toward her.

He saw Rachel and stared right at her eyes. _'Are they purple?' _he wondered. He was then drawn to her other features. She had beautiful curves and a very tiny waist. Come to think of it, she was pretty short. Her dark hair was pulled back into a bun and her skin looked very soft.

"So are you nervous?" she asked him as they drove to the building.

"Sort of. I don't want to fuck this up. Excuse my expression."

"You won't fuck this up. Excuse my expression." she teased. "I've seen your stuff. You're good."

"Thank you." he said "So this is your job? Finding jobs for other people?"

"Sort of. I stalk good workers, like yourself, then when a position needs to be filled I go to my files, find a name do more research and recruit them. GQ is really looking forward to meeting you." she told him as they pulled up to the building.

"I'm not sure I really want it. The job I mean."

"At least act like you do. Because _my _job depends on it." Rachel said.

* * *

><p><strong>A Few Hours Later <strong>

"How'd it go?" she asked as he walked out.

"You're still here?" he asked surprised she waited till dark.

"Its part of my job." she explained.

"I don't know." he answered her earlier question.

"Yeah okay." she took out her phone and sent him an e-mail. His phone beeped and he recognized the number.

"What's this?"

"Your contract."

"I got it?" he asked "How do you know?"

"They called five minutes ago. You are exactly what they want. GQ has its new art director."

"Wow. Thanks but-"

"But my ass. You're really good Richard."

"Thank you. Its just, I'm not sure I can leave Gotham for Jump just like that." he snapped his fingers.

"I'm not going to tell you to leave your home for a job." Rachel settled. "But, I will definitely tell you to leave it for this city. It's amazing." he still looked unsure. "Let me show you. Tonight. And if you're not sold, I'll drive you back to the airport and buy a ticket for the next flight out." she held out her hand.

"Deal." Richard agreed and shook her hand. He was brought to the best places in New York. An outdoor bar, he saw a few celebrities, a couple of clubs, and then Rachel led him to the top of a building. They weren't supposed to be up there but it was beautiful and Rachel enjoyed her time up there.

"So what does your dad think of this? I know he's super important in Gotham."

"I actually haven't told him yet."

"Then that means you already know what he would say."

"Yeah. He'd say, go with your gut and don't be afraid to fall because I'd be proud of you no matter what you did." They were both quiet after that.

"He sounds like a smart guy."

"He is." Richard said looking out over the city. There was a strange awkward silence that became comfortable after a while.

"I know we shouldn't be up here but," she broke the silence "this is the only place where you can see the stars and the city lights. Its like, my own Jump City mountain top. The best part, no cell phone reception."

"So do you bring all of your clients up here?" he teased.

After a while of sorting through memory she answered. "Actually. No. You are the only one who knows about this spot."

"Thank you."

"If you tell anyone, I'll rip your ears off and staple them to your neck." she said with a straight face.

"Is everybody in this city violent?" he asked. She chuckled a little bit and took his arm leading him to the center of Jump City.

"A crowded area of people who push and shove. I thought you wanted me to stay." he joked.

"Just wait a second." she said. All of a sudden a group of people started dancing around and Richard went from stunned to confused.

"It's a flash mob." Rachel explained. " People just kind of do it for fun here."

"Should we move?" Richard asked over the music. They were in the midst of the crowd, and he didn't want to mess up the routine.

"No. You just have to enjoy it." she said smirking a little bit.

"I'll stay."

"What?" she asked a little surprised.

"I'm sold." he said smiling a little bit at her.

"Great. I'll drop some paperwork off and make it official tomorrow."

* * *

><p><strong>The Next Week<strong>

Richard greeted his employees and introduced himself as always having his door open.

He even took it off of its hinges and had it sent to the basement. "Hey man." he felt a tap on the shoulder.

"My name is Victor Stone. I'm the sports editor here at GQ."

"I'm a huge fan."

"Thank you so much. Just want to wish you a welcome. If you need someone to talk to, then I'm in Sports. Garth Fisher is in Relationships, Roy Harper is usually in Sex Advice Column, but he shifts, and Garfield Logan does the Health section."

"Thanks for letting me know." Richard nodded his head at the opportunity to make new friends.

"No problem. Welcome to GQ."

"Thanks." Vic walked away and Richard headed into his office to start working on new ideas.

"Hi." he heard a familiar monotone voice and turned to see Rachel. "I would've knocked but, you have no door."

"Yeah." he laughed. "Do you have the contract?"

"Right here." she pulled it out of her bag and set it down on the table. "Just sign, and I'll be out of your way."

He looked it over. "A whole year?" he asked and sighed.

"Why do I get the feeling you don't commit well?" she asked.

"Hey, I had a two year T-Mobile contract. Big mistake."

"Do me favor, don't quit before the year is up, or I don't get my bonus." she smirked.

"Wait, I can leave whenever I want? What's the point of the contract then?"

"Just sign the damn thing." She laughed a little before handing him a pen. "It's in your hands." he signed it and heard his stomach rumbling.

"Hey, do you know a good place to get lunch?"

She looked at him in disgust. "Are you asking me out?"

"Well. I'm not really. I wanted the name of a restaurant."

"Sure we'd have fun. Maybe fool around, and it would be cool for a while. But right now, I'm the only friend you've got in New York. You don't want to compromise that!"

"I'm NOT FUCKING ASKING YOU OUT!" he exclaimed. All of a sudden she looked downcast as if she might cry.

"You know if you didn't like me like that you didn't have to be so mean about it."

"I'm so sorry Rachel." she busted out laughing at him.

"God. You're so easy! Come on I'll take you to lunch my treat." she led him out of the office. "You looked like a friggin' puppy dog ready to beg for forgiveness."

* * *

><p><strong>At Lunch<strong>

"My brother gave me a lot of crap. But you know, he was happy for me." Richard said over lunch. His phone started vibrating.

"Is that your brother?"

"No. It's my ex- girlfriend. She wanted to stay friends. She also thinks she can cure me of my being emotionally unavailable."

"Really?" Rachel asked. "I'm apparently emotionally damaged. I haven't seen you at the meetings." he laughed at her joke and the phone vibrated again. He put it down again.

"I'm done with the relationship thing."

"You are preaching to the congregation."

"Choir." he corrected her.

"Didn't you understand what I was saying? Yes? Then don't be a dick about it." she shot back playfully. He just smirked back at her before the phone vibrated again.

"May I?" she asked before answering the phone.

"Be my guest."

"Hello. You have reached Richard Grayson's cell phone. He is emotionally unavailable at the moment so-" the call was lost and Rachel laughed. "Wow. You really do have shitty cell phone service."

"I told you." he laughed with her.

"I'm having a party with a few friends tonight. Why don't you come and meet some people. Some of them work at GQ in different departments. You could mingle."

"I'd have to check my schedule. I'm a pretty busy guy now." he teased. "I think I can squeeze you in though."

* * *

><p><strong>Later That Night<strong>

"You made it." she said as she answered the door. "I'm not one for parties but my friend Terra convinced me." she said as she led him through he apartment.

"Hey guys. This is Richard. He's from Gotham." A rip of boos erupted and Rachel calmed them down. "Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Guys he's also the reason I can afford all this beer." They all cheered and tackled him. He actually felt welcome.

Rachel and Richard spent time playing around and drinking. They played on her Wii and did a few rounds of party games with other party goers. He passed out first and she drew on him with a marker.

In retaliation he invited everybody to a party at his place the next weekend and made sure he gave her enough beer to get her loose and pass out. He caught her with one arm outstretched and laid her down onto the couch. He used an invisible ink marker that glowed in the dark. At her next meeting. Green showed up all over her face making her look like a cat.

* * *

><p><strong>At Rachel's<strong>

Richard was over at Rachel's apartment watching a crappy romantic comedy.

"I wish my life were like a movie. You'd never have to worry about your hair and your make-up or using the bathroom."

"Why? They dish out crap and they play an upbeat song that has nothing to do with the plot, but it supposed to make the audience think that they enjoyed it."

"Why don't they ever make movies about what happens after the big kiss?" Rachel wondered out loud.

"They do." Richard said. "It's called porn."

"God I miss sex. I mean sometimes you just need it." she shifted next to him. "It's like cracking your neck."

"I know. Why does it have to come with so many complications?"

"And emotions."

"Exactly. Its all women's fault though."

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"Yeah 'Lets snuggle. Hold me. I wanna be with you forever.'" he quoted some of the lines his past girlfriends have used on him.

"Like you _guys _are any better?" she deepened her voice to quote her past boyfriends "Yeah 'Eh uh yeah. Right there. Say my name. Ugh eh ugh I'm done.'"

"Who the hell have you been with?" Richard stared at her in awe. She laughed a little bit. "Besides why can't it be like that? It's a physical act. Like playing tennis."

"Yeah. You want another beer?" she asked noticing her own bottle was empty.

"Sure." he accepted as she stood up and bent over to pick up some popcorn that ended up on the floor. She was unintentionally giving him a perfect view of her butt. He leaned his head to the side as if examining her black shorts thoroughly. She stood up still unaware he had been staring. She made her way up to the kitchen. All of a sudden Richard had an idea.

"Hey Rachel!" he called from the living room. "Lets play tennis."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Like I said. Loved it. Lolz. Hope you enjoyed.**

**Read and Review**

**Much Love and Respect**

**~Poppie~**


	3. You Know It

**A/N: Just a little refresher before my first mini lemon. Very undescriptive but you know. **

**TheDreamChaser: Yay! That's okay so am I. lolz.**

**i'm so hollow: I'm glad. It gets even better. And the next chapter has something like a montage. So I hope you stick with it.**

**Mewgirl223: That's great. you should totally go see it. I loved it from the moment they were on the rooftop.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em>"Besides why can't it be like that? It's a physical act. Like playing tennis."<em>

_"Yeah. You want another beer?" she asked noticing her own bottle was empty._

_"Sure." he accepted as she stood up and bent over to pick up some popcorn that ended up on the floor. She was unintentionally giving him a perfect view of her butt. He leaned his head to the side as if examining her black shorts thoroughly. She stood up still unaware he had been staring. She made her way up to the kitchen. All of a sudden Richard had an idea._

_"Hey Rachel!" he called from the living room. "Lets play tennis."_

* * *

><p>"What?"<p>

"Lets have sex like we're playing tennis."

"Get the hell outta here Grayson." she laughed while searching for two beers.

"Come on. Don't laugh. I'm serious." he got up and walked to the kitchen.

"We talked about this. I don't like you like that."

"I don't like you like that either. That's why its perfect." he reasoned.

"I don't even know if I find you attractive!" she argued

"That's cute."

"Well do you even find me attractive?"

"That's _really _cute."

"No. I'm serious. Before you saw my awesome personality. What did you really _see_? And what did you think?"

"Honestly?"

"No lie to me." she said sarcastically.

"I like your eyes. I'd never thought I would see big beautiful amethyst eyes." she was caught off guard. He'd even gotten the color exactly right. Then again, he was an art director.

"Your lips." she said. "When you got off the plane. You were smirking a little bit and you looked like you might be a good kisser.

"I am." he smiled again. "Your breasts."

"What about them?"

"They intrigued me."

"Really?" he nodded. "I never really liked them. I thought they were too big for my waist."

"They're still breasts." He said staring at them again.

"Thanks. I like your hands." their eyes connected.

"Mouth."

"Butt."

"Waist"

"Chest"

"Eyes."

"You said that." she pointed out.

"I meant it." he retorted his eyes still meeting hers. She swallowed hard.

"You swear you don't want anything more from me than sex?" Rachel asked.

"Why are you asking _me_ that? You know how you girls get." he joked.

"No relationships. No emotions. Just sex." Rachel confirmed.

"Whatever happens, we'll still be friends." they shook hands. "Okay. I guess we should just start then. I'll serve." Richard said before leaning in.

"Okay enough with the tennis." she pushed him away.

"Couch?" he suggested. "It's less romantic."

"Bedroom. It has better light. And since we are just friends, I don't have to be insecure about my body." She rubbed his abs.

"Come on. You're beautiful. You have nothing to worry about." he cupped her breasts.

"Hey!" she took her hands off of him. "That sounds emotionally supportive. And you need to just lock that down." she warned.

He looked her up and down before saying, "Your ass is kind of bony."

"Much better." she walked to the bed room and stripped out of clothes as she spoke. "My nipples are sensitive. I don't like dirty talk, and if I knew this was going to happen, I would've shaved my legs."

"My chin is ticklish, I sneeze sometimes when I cum and if I knew this was going to happen, I wouldn't have shaved my legs." he started removing his own clothing. "Also I keep my socks on. Intimacy issues."

"Good. I have feet issues." she stood in front of him completely naked.

"I can do that." Richard said before removing his boxers. She looked down.

"Should be fine."

"Lets go." Richard kissed Rachel and brought her down on the bed on top of him.

"I can't believe we're doing this." Rachel said through moans as Richard moved his hands all over her body.

"Do you want to stop?" he asked praying she would say no as she kissed and nipped at his neck. "We could always go for a run or something."

"No. Its just that it feels so college-y." she admitted as he squeezed her thighs.

"I could sing some Third-Eye Blind." he suggested.

"Okay."

_Closing time _

_One last call for alcohol_

"That's not Third-Eye Blind." Rachel commented.

"I'm pretty sure it is."

"Nope." she went back to kissing him. Then a thought crossed her mind and she sat up.

"We're only doing this once."

"Agreed." Richard said.

* * *

><p><strong>10 Minutes Later<strong>

"Faster." he was grinding into her at her every order. "Harder."

"More circular with your hips." he commanded and she did so without question. She accidentally rubbed her nose against his chin. He laughed a little bit. "Watch the chin. Kiss my ear."

"My neck." she moaned. "Get my neck." he bit down.

"Say my name." he asked.

"Richard John Grayson-Wayne."

"Not my full name."

"Sorry I go through a lot of your paperwork and-"

"Stop talking."

"Okay."

He moved down lower until he was at her entrance. He was licking furiously. But Rachel was unmoved. "Uh-"

"Relax. Just one friend going down on another." Richard said.

"Its not that." she pulled him up by the tongue. "What are you trying to do? Dig your freaking way to China?"

"I'm good at this." he claimed.

"Says who?"

"Every girl I've been with."

"Well they're either lying or their lady parts are made out of burlap." She let go of his tongue. "So relax! You're not a lizard." she scolded

"Fine. Okay." he went back down.

"A little to the right." she guided him and he moved. "Now to the left just a smidge." he shifted. "Now down. Further. Further. Whoa! Too far."

"Sorry." he apologized. After much deliberation, he decided to just go for it.

"What are you-?" she cut herself off with a moan as he entered her with his tounge. She gripped the sheets and screamed with pleasure. "Ahhhh!"

"What? What's wrong?" he lifted his head.

"Nothing!" she yelled in pain and pleasure.

"When women start screaming it can mean two things and-!"

"Just keep going!" she begged. He did so and she released herself. He laid down on a pillow next to her and had a smug smile on his face. "You know it." and she smirked once she caught her breath. She climbed on top of him and moved lower.

"Now I can tell you how _I _like it. Ms. Bossy Boots." she ignored him and went down. "See most guys like it soft then kind of moderate. But if you knew me, you'd know I'd just lose it if you went full out-" his breath hitched as she did exactly what he'd asked before he'd finished explaining. She kept going and he was completely speechless. He was on his elbows for support. He sneezed as he came and she smirked before kissing him lightly allowing him to taste what she did. "You know it." she mocked.

They both laid there speechless.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hot! And Witty at the same time. lolz Loved their dialouge during this scene and had to incorporate it here. Hope you liked it too. In fact give yourself a minute to cool off before you review. You know you want to... lolz jk. But it'd be great if you did I mention I love that back and forth thing they do with the compliments? One of my favorite parts of the movie. Too cute.**

**Much Love and Respect**

**~Poppie~**


	4. Sex Is Fun and Funny

**A/N: Okay things won't get less M in this chapter but it's with some good reason. Only one review. But considering I updated within only a couple hours, I think thats pretty darned good.**

**Mewgirl223:I'm glad I made you laugh! And I hope you like the montage here! Thx for reviewing! I appriciate it.**

* * *

><p><strong>The Next Morning<strong>

"Lets go with Clark Kent."

"Are you kidding me? Diana Prince is at the top of her game." Victor defended his choice for the next cover of the magazine.

"Mr. Grayson." his secretary said, "Rachel is in the lobby waiting for you."

"We'll finish this after lunch man." He patted Vic's shoulder and left.

"Okay." Vic put the posters away. Richard took the stairs instead of the elevator. The more time he could spend getting there the better.

* * *

><p><strong>5 Minutes Later<strong>

"Sorry. It's kind of a big building." he said as he approached her.

"Sorry to show up like this." Rachel apologized for interrupting.

"No. It's fine. It's okay." Richard shrugged it off. They hugged putting as much space between them as possible. They stood there quiet for a little while before Rachel had an idea.

"Do you want to take a walk?"

**A Few Minutes Later**

Rachel and Dick were in the park and they still hadn't spoken a word. "So um. About last night." Rachel began.

"It was crazy and we never should have done it."

"Exactly!" Rachel agreed. "It was so completely not me. I don't know why I encouraged it."

"Agreed. Lets just forget it ever happened." Richard said relieved.

"Great!" she breathed out. "I mean we've both had one night stands. We're not exactly proud of all of them. But you know? The idea that _we _could do it over and over again without complications or compromises, was ridiculous."

"Completely." he rubbed the back of his neck. "I was going to call you." he said awkwardly.

"But you didn't." she said simply.

"But I didn't." they looked each other in the eyes.

"See? Its already coming between us. And I don't want it to."

"It's not going to." he reassured her.

"I mean, I talk tough and I act tough but sometimes I wonder-"

"-if it's just a front to mask your own vulnerability." he finished.

"Are you my fucking therapist now?"

"No I'm a friend who picks up on small things you do. Like when you swear, you blink." he explained. "Like your body is rejecting the word."

"No I don't. Fuck you."

"Blinked."

"Shut the fuck up no I don't."

"Blinked again."

"Shit."

He waited a while. "You didn't blink. Shit your okay with." she laughed. "So its in the past. We won't do it again."

"We'll stay friends." she smiled a little bit.

"Great because I don't want to lose this." she said relieved.

"Portrait for the lovely couple." a man on the street offered. The two looked at each other

**Twenty Minutes Later**

Rachel's legs were wrapped around Richard's waist and he opened the apartment door as they kissed. "My neck." he said. "Kiss my neck."

"What the hell are we doing?" she asked but kept going anyway.

"I don't know." he led them to a couch and he sat down while she straddled his waist.

"Rub my back." she told him. He rubbed his thumb accidently against her nipple and she giggled. "Watch it." she said through laughs. He squeezed her hips making her moan against his neck. He pulled her belt off and unbuttoned her pants but stopped at the sight of a tattoo of a bird.

"You have a tattoo?" he asked her.

"Yeah."

"Why didn't I notice it before?" he asked as she rubbed up against him.

"We were kind of drunk." she said through kisses.

"Oh yeah." he remembered. "Did you have a bird?"

"Nope. But everybody else did. And I desperately wanted a slightly normal family so I got a tattoo of one."

"So you got one as a sign of rebellion." he said more than asked.

"Ink is pretty fun." she admitted.

"Look." he lifted up his shirt and revealed a tattoo of a robin under his bottom abs.

"A robin?"

"I liked birds when I was little."

"Ah." she nodded.

"I also liked Harry Potter back then."

"Were you also gay back then?" she teased.

"Harry Potter doesn't make you gay. And I'll prove it." he said lifting up her shirt.

"Are you sure about this?"

"No." he answered still pulling it off of her. "You?"

"Not at all." she pushed him back and took off his belt. She threw it to the ground and bit down on his collarbone. He releaased a low growl in his throat. He threw her shirt across the room and she pulled away.

"Did you just growl at me?" she asked unsure if she was hearing things.

"Maybe? Why?" he rubbed her back and moved to her bra.

"I think I kind of liked it." she said biting down on his collarbone. "Do it again." she commanded. He had a wave of pride wash through him. He growled into her skin causing her to react by scratching his back.

* * *

><p><strong>One Week Later<strong>

"Oh my god!" she yelled. "My butt." she moaned.

"You sure?" he asked.

"What? No!" she exclaimed. "My butt is cramping can you get a pillow or something?" he reached for a pillow and tucked it under them.

"So no butt?" he asked.

"Absolutely not."

* * *

><p><strong>The Week After<strong>

They cheered as the baseball game ended and their favorite team won. They high fived and Rachel jumped up and wrapped her legs around him and he cupped her butt as he walked to the bedroom.

He sneezed and she looked disappointed.

"Really? Already?"

"Just kidding." he said and he laid her down on the bed.

* * *

><p><strong>Another Week Later<strong>

Rachel was on top of him doing most of the work. His hands were roaming her body but he looked uncomfortable.

"Do you like this position?" he asked.

"It's fine. Why? Don't you like it?" she kissed and nibbled at his ear.

"I don't know. It makes me feel emasculated."

"Emasculated?" she asked and she stopped moving. She put her head up and looked him in the eye. "A naked girl is lying on top of you and you feel emasculated."

"Little bit."

"You do know what the word means right?" she asked to be sure.

"Yes! I know what it means." he said annoyed.

"Alright then." she rolled them over. "You big baby. Feel manly now?" she asked in her monotone voice.

"I do."

"Okay now put it in." she teased.

"Oh. Ho Ho." he fake laughed. "Not funny." she laughed at him anyway.

* * *

><p><strong>The Next Week<strong>

They were spooning and Richard stopped all of a sudden. Richards chin was resting on the top of her head. His hands rested on either side of her ribcage under her breasts. She was gripping his leg with one hand and the other was holding the sheets.

"What?" Rachel asked, her breath shaky. She was very close to the edge.

"I have to go to the bathroom."

"What?" she asked. "Hurry up."

He went to the bathroom. After a few moments passed and she still didn't hear anything, she peered in. "What's taking so long?"

"Do you know how hard it is to pee with a hard on?"

"No." she deadpanned.

"Its like two lanes of traffic trying to merge. It takes some time." he described. He sat down and she took notice. "Are you pooping?" she asked.

"Of course not! Sitting helps the process. Do you want a mess in here?" he warned.

"No." she shook her head. "Take your time." he did so and relieved himself in the toilet. He flushed with his foot and returned to the bed.

"Whoa! Did you wash your hands?" he looked at her seriously.

"I didn't touch anything but me in there."

"I may be your friend but I'm still a lady. Get back in there, wash your hands and then come back to bed." she ordered.

"You keep talking to me like that and I won't come back." he warned.

She removed the blanket and revealed herself to him completely.

"Which soap should I use? Bar or Liquid?"

* * *

><p><strong>The Week After That<strong>

"Do you want something or not?" Rachel called

"No I'm good. You have gross food."

"At least I have food." she said as she drank her water. She set it aside and climbed on top of Richard. "All you have is drinkable yogurt."

"It saves time."

"If it saves you so much time, then why don't you use it to shave those whiskers?" she complained about his growing beard brushing against her skin. "Seriously. They're like knives." He rolled them over so she was underneath them.

"See now I'm glad we're not dating. Because I can tell you to shut up."

"And I can tell you that if you don't start shaving up there, I'll _stop_ shaving down there."

He just smirked and started kissing her again. She was just about to bite his ear when she heard a voice.

"Rachel. I'm here!" she walked in the bed room and looked away. "Whoa! Whoa!"

"Mom!" Richard rolled off of Rachel and put on his underwear.

"My eyes are closed. I can't see anything. I can't see you putting on your black underwear." she reached out and hugged Richard who stood there awkwardly. "Oh Rachel, I've missed you so much. " she felt Richard's muscles and assumed they were her daughter's. "Sweetie. Did your boobs get bigger?" Arella asked.

"Mom. I'm over here." Arella opened her eyes and hugged her daughter.

"What are you doing here?"

"I called things off with Leonard."

"Why?"

"It was like talking to dirt." she said drinking her daughter's water. "What no alcohol? Not that you would need it to roll around with him." she winked at Richard who was still blushing. "Rachel you never told me you had such a hot boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend." Rachel said.

"Rae and I are just friends."

"It's like the 70's in here! It was a better time. Just sex!" she exclaimed. "No complications, a little getting high." She whooped and left Rachel with her head in her hands.

"Well. I guess its kind of what this is mom." she said quietly hoping she'd leave.

"That's exactly what this is." Richard said making Arella turn to him.

"So my daughter is just your slam piece?" she asked glaring at him.

"What? No!" he said worried he looked and sounded like a complete asshole.

"I'm just kidding." she laughed "Slam away. Have fun. The only downside, is that it takes you off the market. Then again the whole reason you go to the market is to get the produce which you've already got."

"Oh God. Mom stop please."

"I'll only be here for a few weeks. But I am starving right now. Do you have any whiskey?"

"In the kitchen." she left the room.

"You've got to go." she said to Richard.

"Okay then." he started getting dressed and Rachel handed him his sneakers. He walked through the kitchen to say goodbye.

"Nice to have met you Ms.- and your pants are coming off." he turned away and walked through the door.

"What the- mom! Please." Rachel yelled.

"What? I'm just getting comfortable." Rachel ran a hand through her hair.

* * *

><p><strong>At The Basketball Court<strong>

"I'm supposed to meet up with Rachel." Richard said to Roy the next day after an office basketball scrimmage.

"The stalker who brought you to us?" he asked.

"That's the one."

"She's hot." Richard slapped him on the back of the head. "What? Are you guys dating now?"

"No. We're just friends." he answered. "But we _are _fooling around."

"Sex just as friends? That never works." he laughed. "To women it always means something more with them."

"Rachel's different."

"Does she have something wiggling down there that shouldn't be? No? Then she's no different!"

"What would you know?"

"Nothing I guess considering I'm the Sex Article editor for GQ."

"GQ not Cosmo. Rachel and I had an agreement going into this."

"Whatever. I gave you my two cents. I'm headed home." he said and jumped over the railing and towards the water. Richard rushed to the railing and looked over to see him in a boat.

"You have a boat?" he asked.

"I live off the coast. And I'm not taking a ferry every morning."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oh Harper. Shortcuts in life... well that was fun to write. Hope you guys liked it too.**

**Much Love and Respect**

**~Poppie~**


	5. My Gay Best Friend

**A/N: Time for some mummy daughter bonding. Sorta. Hope you enjoy!**

**(Update 5:31 8/12/11) A/N: Whoa! Just realized I forgot about the review responses. I'm so sorry guys. I'll try to make sure it doesn't happen again. And as an apology the next chapter is going up right now.**

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel's Apartment<strong>

"Come away with me this weekend." Arella asked her daughter. "No men no bullshit. Just my daughter and me. When was the last time we did that?"

"I was eight." she answered.

"Look I know I haven't been the best mother in the world…." she trailed off.

"I'm sorry did you want me to stop you or something?" Rachel joked. Arella laughed. "Okay fine. I'll go mom." she hugged her.

* * *

><p><strong>The Next Day<strong>

"Sorry about my mom." Rachel apologized while they were in bed.

"It's cool. She's kind of funny."

"She's hilarious." Rachel said sarcastically. "Dick. I think we should stop this. I want to start dating again." he thought for a while.

"Yeah me too."

_Every other beginning _

_Comes from some other beginning's end _

She laughed. "That's still not Third Eye Blind." she said.

"Yes it is." he got up and started getting dressed. She did the same and they tossed each other their clothes.

"You want to get lunch?" she didn't see the point in arguing anymore.

"You're buying." he said.

"What?" she exclaimed. "So this is the end of it huh?"

"I guess so." He said pulling down his shirt.

"We did it."

"And we're still friends."

"I can't believe it."

They settled on giant soft pretzels and slushies before walking through the park.

"So what is your type anyways?" Rachel asked curious.

"Oh. I don't have a type." he started in a melo-dramatic voice. "It's all about what's on the inside."

"Oh please." she looked around and pointed to a red head reading a book. "What about her?"

"Redhead? Sure. I'd love to get to know her insides." he looked her up and down. "I'm going to go talk to her." he said making a few steps towards her.

"What?"

"We said we were going to start dating again."

"In front of all these people?" Rachel asked.

"I said I was going to talk to her not rape her."

"You were pretty much doing that with your eyes a few seconds ago." she reminded him giving him a smug look. He said nothing and walked up to her. They flirted and Rachel watched trying to picture them as a couple. But she couldn't for some reason. A few moments later he walked back to her looking a little bit deflated.

"What happened?"

"We talked. We laughed. And I showed her where the balcony was because that's where she was meeting her husband of two years." Rachel stifled a laugh but she couldn't help bust out laughing. Five minutes later she was still chuckling.

"Why are you still laughing? At least I talked to someone."

"Okay fine. I'll go next. I've still got it."

"Fine 11:00. Blue shirt. Iced Coffee." he picked someone out for her.

"Hmm. Okay. Handsome, doesn't know it. And he's looking at trees so he likes nature or thinking about something. But he's here for reasons besides watching women sunbathe."

"Or he's a dumbass."

"Don't care. Going in." she walked towards him. They talked for a while and at the end of their conversation, they waved to Richard.

"Okay so. His name is Randy. He's a doctor. He treats cancer. And we have a date this Saturday."

"Nice." he high fived her. "Wait. Why did you guys wave to me?"

"I told him you were my gay best friend and he wants to set you up with his brother." Richard looked at her with widened eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>Saturday<strong>

Rachel was having a great time on her date. And she really didn't think about telling Randy about her five date rule. Until he touched her hand.

"Look. I should probably let you know this." she began.

"Please tell me your not a dude. That would be the third time since I moved here and I can't take it."

"No. I'm not a dude." she said quickly "But I have a five date rule. You know five dates before we you know." she told him.

"You're worth waiting for." he took both hands and made color rush to her face slowly.

**Date number 3**

"Hold on I just got a text." It was from Richard.

_How's your date going?_

She and Randy took a picture and sent it to Richard.

He got it as he walked out of the office with Gar at his side.

"Come with me to a bar. We could meet some hot girls."

"Why not?" he said and joined his co-worker.

**Date Number 5**

Rachel and Randy were making out on the couch when she notified him of what date it was.

"Really?" he asked goofing around. "I was not keeping count." he went on top of her and began kissing her again.

* * *

><p><strong>With Richard on The Same Night<strong>

A girl he met when he was out with Gar was over his place at the moment. She was doing weird things like smelling his arms and taking his hand to touch her chest. All of a sudden his phone rang.

"Hey Donna."

"Who the fuck is Donna?" the girl on the couch asked him.

"My sister."

"She better be. I'll cut her." she said viciously. Then she went back to kissing him.

"How's Dad?" he asked on the phone. "I'm on the first flight I can get home tomorrow. Bye." he hung up.

"I want you to meet my parents." The girl said.

"Naaaah." he tried to work out of her grasp. "Really so soon?" she grabbed his hand and put it to her chest moaning as she made a thump noise. "Wow that is um- Ahem." he cleared his throat completely uncomfortable.

* * *

><p>Rachel woke up to the sound of Richard's assigned ringtone for her cell phone.<p>

_Closing time_

_One last call for alcohol_

"Hold on." she whispered not wanting to wake up Randy she left the room slipped on jeans and a shirt and went outside. She ended up near a coffee stand and she bought two. One for Randy and one for herself.

"Do you think guys care more about white pants or global warming?"

"Put a girl in a bikini next to either one of them and you'll have success." she joked.

"Well how's your boy Randy? Still looking at trees?"

"From my apartment yeah. He is."

"Fifth date already?" Richard asked.

"Maybe."

"That's a yes." he smiled. "Did you guys..?" he trailed off.

"How dare you?" she asked in mock horror. "A lady never tells."

"That's why I'm asking _you_." she laughs and turns her head to see Randy leaving the apartment.

"Hey Dick I've got to go. I hope you have a great trip in Gotham bye." she walked towards Randy.

"Hey. I got us coffee." she held one out to him. "I thought you weren't on call today." she reminded him.

"I'm not. But I've got stuff to do." he lied nervously.

"Wow. The hump and dump how incredibly cliché of you."

"I'm sorry Rachel. I don't think I can be your prince charming."

"Okay cool. We can still be friends right?"

"Really?" he asked with some hope.

"No you can go fuck yourself." she turned and walked away before remembering she had two cups in her hand. She threw his out and sipped hers on the way to Richard's apartment. A half an hour later she told him about it as he was packing for his three day trip to Gotham.

"You would have been so proud of me. I didn't even blink when I told him to go fuck himself."

"But you did just then."

"I wasn't in the moment." she defended. "Maybe I suck in bed." she considered.

"Trust me you do not suck in bed."

"Thank you." she smirked.

"Your so needy." he teased. "Maybe he's married or something."

"Nope. Did a background check on him before our third date."

"Background check? Did you do one on me?"

"How the hell did you max out an Old Navy card?"

"I liked wearing cargo pants after college." he defended.

"I've got to stop thinking it's not me. It's gotta be me." she thought about it.

"You can't blame yourself. You gave him a five date challenge and he won. That's how dicks like him see it. Forget the douche." he zipped up his suitcase "He's a dickdouche." he made her laugh a little bit and was glad he wasn't leaving his friend sad. "Go with your mom and have fun. I almost forgot. I got you something." he went into a closet and pulled out a picture of a majestic raven. "I asked someone to whip it up for me down at work." It was really beautiful.

"That's actually really sweet. Thank you so much. But if you want me to take that thing home I need cab fare."

"Why?"

"I'm not walking all the way home with that big ass thing."

"Fine. As long as you get your feet off my bed. They're gross."

She stared at him blankly and then rubbed her feet all over his sheets. He tried to get her to stop but they both ended up laughing anyway. Rachel let him finish packing and headed home. When she was inside she began calling to her mom.

"Mom. We have to get on the road." she looked down on a counter to find a note from her mom saying she couldn't make it. She took a picture of the note and sent it to Richard.

"Ouch." he said when he called her.

"I don't know why I was surprised she'd do this."

"Come with me to Gotham."

"What?" she asked.

"Come for me. I need the distraction when I visit my family."

"Okay fine. I guess I have nothing else to do."

"Great. I just bought you the ticket. Meet me at the airport."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yayz! A trip to Gotham What will ensue? You'll have o wait till the next chappy!**

**Much Love and Respect**

**~Poppie~**


	6. Oopsie

**A/N: It was so (insert spoiler word) to do this. But you know what- I can't even continue without spoiling something juicy. Read the chapter then see the last A/N: **

**Review Responses:**

**TheDreamChaser: Glad to hear from you!Lolz. I know she is but it maks the story funnier. I guess I'm not breaking tradition with this next chapter.**

**krazieneko: It's a great movie with Mila Kunis(luv her soooo much and her eyes rock!) and Justin Timberlake(really hawt). You should see it. It's not ashton kutcher and that's okay. i just got into the mainstream myself. lolz And I love the bantering too. lolz**

**Mewgirl223: Nice! Lolz. I'm sure if your sister read she'd understand. I cracked up watching the movie too. And Roy's just looking for a shortcut. Lolz.**

**k99:I'm glad. Thx for reviewing I appreciate it. Dude or dudette.(No disrespect intended. lolz It's just that I can't tell from your screen name.)**

**Mewgirl223: Deja Vu? lolz. Thx again!**

* * *

><p><strong>On The Flight<strong>

"This city is beautiful."

"Don't you think that the airplane does most of the work?"

"No one cares and you sound like an asshole." she knew he was talking about the pilot who landed a plane on a river.

Two little girls turned around at hearing a curse word. "She's from Jump City." he half whispered so Rachel could hear too. At the sound of his voice she noticed the two girls staring at her.

"I'm so sorry." Rachel said embarrassed.

They got to the house and it was beautiful. It had a perfect view of the ocean and the view was great to look at. The style of the house was intricate and homey. And even the furniture looked inviting.

"This is amazing." she marveled.

"My grandfather owned it. Him, my sister, and her son live here."

"Why would you leave this for Jump?" Rachel asked.

"A pretty crazy girl convinced me." he rubbed her head. Which he knew she hated. A young boy with black hair and green eyes ran up to Richard.

"Uncle Richard!"

"Hey kiddo." he hugged his nephew. "Rachel this is my nine year old nephew Bart the Magnificent."

"Nice to meet you."

"You too madam. So would you like me to light your cigarette?" he asked.

"I'm sorry. I don't smoke." she laughed.

"Its part of his act." Richard told her.

"Oh." she realized. "I'd love a light thank you." he snapped his fingers a flame appeared.

"Wow." she said truly impressed. All of a sudden his jacket caught on fire. "Oh God." they tried to peel it off of him and he took it off. As they put out the fire he said. "All part of the act." Rachel smiled a little bit.

An older man in glasses with some greyed hair stepped in front of her. And a woman with dark hair and blue eyes walked next to.

"This is my sister, Donna."

"It's nice to see Richard bring a girl home."

"Oh we're not dating." she said quickly.

"Oh I know. He never brings home girlfriends."

"This is my father." Richard introduced her. He pointed to Rachel. "This is-"

"Dee Arlengton?" he interrupted.

"No. I'm Rachel Roth. It's nice to meet you." she held out a hand.

"I'm sorry you look so much like someone I used to know. Except for the eyes. " he shook her hand.

" Thank you sir. Its okay, really. You have a beautiful house."

"Well we have a pool in the back. Its not heated though." he pointed to the ocean and laughed. "But seriously, feel free to take the boat around a few times."

"We sold the boat dad. The doctor told you to stop driving it."

"Oh yes. That's right. My brain is turning to mush."

"Go rest dad." Richard suggested.

"I will." he left before Donna spoke.

"So?"

"What happened to his pants?" Richard asked.

"He doesn't like them anymore. It's getting worse." she said quickly. "It's good you're here. Show Rachel around. Head to the beach."

**On the Patio Later That Night**

"Richard never told me about your father." Rachel admitted. The two were sitting down looking at old pictures.

"He doesn't really know how to deal with it." she told her. "They were really close and then one day the Alzheimer's hit really bad."

"I'm so sorry."

"He's fine one minute and the next he's gone." she said before pointing to a picture in the album. "That's when he turned 13."

"Are those braids?" she asked Donna.

"He was going through a KrissKross phase." Donna laughed. She pointed to a picture of him with an older woman. "That was his speech therapist. He had a stutter."

"He had a rough childhood huh?" she laughed.

"His math tutor called it character building."

"Math tutor?"

"Yeah. And I don't mean dealing with Calculus. I'm talking six times eight equals twelve hundred. Thank god he had an eye for art." they laughed and Richard walked outside.

"Hey I know you're laughing at me but I'm exhausted and I'm gonna head to bed. So Rae, are you all set with your room?" he asked

"I'm all set." she said. "Thank you so much for everything." she said while cracking her neck. Richard took notice. "Don't believe anything Donna tells you. She's a liar." he said before heading upstairs.

"He's a special guy." Donna said.

"I think so too." Rachel agreed watching him go upstairs. Donna noticed her gaze and they talked for a few more minutes. Rachel headed upstairs and read something on her phone.

A few minutes after she got settled in there was a knock at the door then Richard poked his head in. "Hey, you awake?" he asked.

"Yeah come in." she sat up and turned on the lights. "I thought you were going to bed."

"Yeah I was. Then I realized we were both single again." he removed his robe and revealed nothing but black underwear and socks on. "I washed my hands and everything." he joked.

"Are you kidding me?" she laughed "Why would you just assume?"

"You cracked your neck on the porch." he told her.

"I cracked my neck because we were on a flight for six hours."

"So that's a no?" he asked to be sure.

"No. I'm not having sex with you." He put his robe back on.

"Is it your special time? They have an app for that." he took her phone and scanned her body. "You're good to go."

"We talked about this. Plus I just got dumped. Remember?"

"I'm sorry. I thought the point of this trip was to forget about that."

"Yeah but sex won't help me forget. I need emotional support." she declared

"So before we were sex no emotion, and now its emotion no sex." he made sure he got it right.

"Exactly. I just need you to be my friend for now."

"Okay so I'll listen to your problems while you give me a hand job." She threw a pillow at his head.

"Get out!"

"I'm kidding!" he laughed and threw it back. "Alright. Goodnight Rach." he started to leave.

"Well wait!" she halted him."Stay. Come on friends can still hang out in bed and... listen to music." she looked away feigning innocence holding up her iphone.

"Music?" she played her iphone and KrissKross came on. "I'll kill Donna."

"I can't believe you used to like them." she laughed at his sensitivity.

"I didn't like them I don't even remember-

_Don't try to compare us to another bad little fad_

_I'm the mac and I'm bad give you something that you never had_

_I'll make ya bump, bump wiggle and shake your rump_

_'Cause I'll be kicking the flavor that makes you wanna jump_

_How high? Real high 'cause I'm just so fly_

_A young lovable, hugable type of guy_

_And everything is to the back with a little slack_

_'Cause inside-out is wiggity, wiggity, wiggity wack_

He rapped terribly and jumped on the bed before settling next to Rachel. She stopped the music and looked at him with a blank stare.

"I'm not proud okay?" he admitted.

"I also borrowed one of your books." she held up a copy of 'Math For Dummies' she started laughing again. He pressed her to the bed trying to get the book. "Give me that." she held it out of his grasp.

"You're smothering me!" A few minutes later they were drinking dancing and having fun.

After a half an hour of fooling around, and drinking some light wine, Rachel asked him a serious question. "Have you ever brought a girl home before?"

"You're here." he said flatly.

"I mean a real girl. Like a girlfriend."

"A real girl? No I guess not."

"Building walls up that's healthy." she said sarcastically.

"You're not any better. What about your mom? You couldn't get me out faster when she walked in on us."

"That was for your own protection." she poked his chest a little bit. She was only a tad bit tipsy. As was he. "I'm surprised she didn't try to slip you her number."

"She did. She put it in my phone. Under MILF. It's cool we only hooked up like twice." he joked. She laughed into his chest.

"I'm getting a mental image." she put her head up again.

"I've got video." he pulled out his phone. "Ew god gross." she took his phone and put it on the nightstand. She turned back to see him staring at her.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing. I'm just glad I met you." he said honestly.

"Well knowing you doesn't suck either."

"Hmm." she looked at him for a while not really knowing what she was thinking. Then she kissed him. "I thought you said-" he started but she cut him off whispering against his lips.

"I know what I said." she kissed him again and she cupped one side of his face with her hand. She moved his robe off slowly. "Oopsie." she said lightly. And he smirked at her gesture.

They both could have claimed to be too drunk to know what they were doing. But they also both knew that it took more than what they drank to get drunk. Neither of them were light weights. They kissed softly and moved carefully. There was as much eye contact as possible. As they began to make love they were silent. There were no words between them or usual commands. They already knew what to do to experience any pleasures or highs. They used every and any position they'd practiced before. Even the 'emasculating' one. Richard didn't even complain.

There was no grinding, and there was no sudden movement. There was only them with a moan or muffled yell of pleasure that escaped their lips here and there. They made love until they were spent. They both fell asleep. Rachel was laying on top of Richards chest and their hearts beat together as they slept.

Around 4 in the morning the Donna got up to get something to drink. She accidentally hit her foot on something and cursed, waking Richard up. As she shuffled out she saw Richard leaving Rachel's guest room.

* * *

><p><strong>The Next Morning<strong>

"It's nice out here." Richard commented. "I miss it."

"Grandpa misses you." Bart said.

"What does he say?" Richard asked his nephew.

"Nothing much. But sometimes he calls me Richard." he rubbed the top of his nephew's head not knowing what to say.

**At Dinner**

"He said he didn't want the job." Rachel told everyone at dinner. "He was just exploring options."

"That's ridiculous." his father said. "Flying cross country to explore options."

"Exactly."

"Oh please." he snorted.

"Yeah. I had you from the moment you stepped into the airport." she remembered.

"You guys bicker like an old married couple." Donna laughed. They looked at each other awkwardly.

"Did you get her an engagement gift?" his father asked.

"No. We're not engaged dad." he spoke softly.

"Oh. I understand you don't use labels nowadays but jewelry is always the best thing to buy. I always buy it for your mom. No matter how upset she is at me. Where is she anyway?" he asked.

"She's not here." Richard answered. Rachel looked up and shifted nervously. She herself was curious as well.

"Well I know she's not here son. That's why I'm asking."

"She's not coming dad."

"Mom passed in a car accident ten years ago." Donna said pained. Bart just sat there picking at his food.

"I don't understand." he said.

"She's gone dad." Richard said. "She's in a better place."

"I should call her."

"Dad you can't!" Donna raised her voice a little bit. Their dad stood up and yelled.

"Don't tell me what to do!" he walked over to the other side of the table and fell. Everybody stood up and tried to get him up. He shoved them all away. "I'm fine."

He walked away huffing. Everybody in the restaurant stared as Donna followed him out.

**The Next Morning**

Richard guided Rachel up a large hill and up to the huge Gotham sign. It was like the Hollywood sign. But smaller.

"This is beautiful." Rachel complimented.

"It's where I used to go to clear my head. 'My rooftop.'" he said reminding her of his first night in Jump City. She noticed a fence blocking them off from the letters.

"How high do you think that fence is?" she asked.

"Well. I'm six feet. So about three of me. That's six times three is…. 92." she just looked at him. The poor guy was still trying to work it out in his mind.

"You poor poor kid." Rachel commented before moving down the hill towards the fence.

"What are you doing Rae? They take this seriously you can't hop the fence." he followed her anyway. "They have cameras hooked up and all that shit." As she climbed the fence she coughed in her hand.

_Cough_. "Lameass!" _Cough_.

"Fine." he hopped the fence and they climbed atop the 'O' in Gotham.

"You've really never done this before?" she asked him.

"I've also never dealt out crack before because that's _also_ illegal!" he defended himself.

"Who cares? This view is amazing."

"True." he agreed.

"How come you've never talked about your mom?"

"She's not worth talking about." he said looking away "The reason she was in a car accident was because she was leaving her husband and kids. My dad was heartbroken but I'm kind of glad he'll forget."

"Yeah, you never told me about that part either. There's a lot of things you didn't tell me about."

"I didn't want your pity." he said simply. "I can handle anything except people's eyes full of pity."

"Who gives a crap about what people think?" she asked honestly.

"He's the smartest person I've ever known, the only person I'd go to for any advice. He's my dad!"

"He's still the same man!" she argued.

"You see the way people look at him now."

"Like I said before, 'Who cares what people think?'"

"He's walking around with no pants on and people are just staring."

"So?"

"It's embarrassing."

"He needs to know that nothing has changed. That you still look at him the same way you did before."

"Can we stop talking about this?"

"Yeah. That's a great idea." she said irritated. "Let's stop talking about feelings."

"I'm trying to." he said truthfully.

"What's going on with you? You've been acting really weird since the other night."

"What, when we had sex?" she nodded. "That means nothing you know that." he looked away and so did she.

"Right." she sighed.

"And I haven't been acting weird." he added.

"Okay!" she said harshly wanting to drop the subject completely. All of a sudden a helicopter rose to the both of them. "Oh shit!" she yelled over the propellers. "You were serious?"

"I told you!" he screamed.

"I'm sorry!" she yelled. "We've gotta jump." she did so.

"I have a f-fear of heights!" he yelled.

"What?" she screamed at him. "How can you have a fear of heights."

"Also I-I d-d-don't understand helicopters." he stuttered.

"Why would you go up there with me?"

"You called me a l-l-lameass." he felt like the kid with a stutter again.

**A Few Hours Later**

Donna laughed at her brother and played and replayed it over again. The news covered the situation he and Rachel had been in and she had it saved on her DVR.

"They actually wrapped you in a foil blanket!" she gasped for breath in between laughs.

"Okay that's enough." They wrestled for the remote like they did when they were kids. Donna went for his ear and Richard grabbed her hair which was in a braid. In the end Richard won.

"So when are we going to see Rachel again?" she asked getting a bottle of water.

"I don't know." he said looking away.

"What's with you? Did you and your girlfriend have a fight?"

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Didn't look that way when you left her room. You looked like you had sex. _If you know what I mean_." she said the wrong part quietly.

"Of course I know what you mean. You just said it." he paused "How do you know what I look like after sex?" she opened her mouth to speak but he stopped her. "Nevermind Donna. We're done talking about this" he left the room.

"Come on. Dick." she followed him.

**Meanwhile**

Rachel agreed to go into a box while Bart sawed her in half.

"Forgot my saw. I'll be back." he said before running upstairs.

"Friends who have sex?" she heard Donna ask. Rachel stuffed her head in the box and hid as they spoke.

"What are you in college?"

"It doesn't matter! It's over."

"Why?"

"Because. Rachel isn't the one."

"Why not? Because you're actually friends with her? Because this is the happiest I've ever seen you?"

"I don't know what to tell you Donna. I don't like her like that. She's not for me."

"You like her enough to have sex with her."

"It's just physical! Like playing tennis."

"I don't even know what that means." Donna said blankly. "I haven't seen you do something this stupid since you got that robin tattoo." he opened his mouth but she held out a hand to stop him. "You can't name one thing that's wrong with her!"

"I can't go out with her. She's too fucked up. She doesn't want a boyfriend. She's too damaged. There's so much shit going on in her head Magnum P.I. couldn't figure it out."

"Wow. You'd say anything right now to avoid admitting you two are perfect together."

"I don't know why we're still talking about this."

"Because I'm right."

"Great talk Donna." he walked away.

"Hey! Non-biological or blood, I'm still your big sister don't walk away from this dick!" she left after him pissed off and she wasn't reffering to his name. Rachel went to her room and started packing her stuff.

**At Dinner**

"Hey guys." Rachel came downstairs with her suitcase.

"Hey we were waiting for you." Donna said.

"Actually I got a call from work. I have to go back to Jump City tonight."

"Tomorrow's the 4 of July." Richard said suspicious.

"Yeah I know." she said coldly. She turned to everyone else. "Thank you guys so much for having me. It's been amazing."

"Let me drive you to the airport." Richard offered.

"That's okay. I called a cab. It's out front." he stood up and walked up to her.

"Is everything okay buddy?"

"Yeah. Everything's fine. Buddy." she said flatly.

"Let Richard drive you." his dad said.

"Do you want some food for the trip?" Donna asked.

"I could saw you in half." Bart suggested. "We could send the bottom half to Jump City and the top half could stay here."

"Or all of you could stay here." Richard chimed in.

"I'm sorry. I have to go. Bye everybody." she left. Richard followed but she was already in the cab.

By the time she got home she'd already gotten a text message from Richard.

_Did you make it home okay? :)_

She turned off her phone.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: You see what I mean? Now before you go calling Richard a jerk in the reviews, don't be too hasty. Think about it for a moment. And remember all of his issues with his mother and father... And notice how I didn't name the mother or father. I'm not gonna! I'll leave it up to you. Also Donna was adopted. For those who wondered.**

**Much Love and Respect**

**~Poppie~**


	7. Oopsie Part II

**A/N: So i know its short. But I decided to split this chapter in two. For an okay kind of cliffy.( jk its not even remotely okay.) lolz but regardless. It's late. I'm tired and here are your review responses.**

**krazieneko: I know right. lolz. Unfortunately yes. They do. Aww I know. Nice try But I'm not spilling.**

**black rose-raven angel: I know. Sorry. hehe and Yay Thank you. I really think you should. I swear if Mila Kunis had purple eyes and bigger boobs. She'd be the perfect adult raven.(In this story's decription at least.) It's creepy. rofl. And Thank you again. Last but not least. You need no longer wait because here it is.**

* * *

><p><strong>In Richard's Office<strong>

"Why did you take the door off the hinges?"

"Something I saw in a management book I added to a complicated handbook of mine."

"You know my handbook is pretty simple." Garth said at the office. "You want to be skinny? Stop eating! You want to be rich, get off your ass and work! You want to be happy, find someone you like and never let 'em go."

* * *

><p>Rachel was in her office when she heard Richards ringtone play.<p>

She picked it up sent it to voicemail and put it down.

* * *

><p>Rachel and her mom were playing with the Wii and she wasn't very good at it. "Mom," Rachel laughed. "You've got to tell it where you are. Your not pointing at the screen"<p>

"Fine." she spoke into the controller like it was a microphone. "I'm right here pouring myself a drink." They paused the game as Rachel's phone rang. "Booty call."

"I don't think so." Rachel hung up.

"Richard seemed nice."

"You met him once." she said defensively.

"That's more than anyone else you've dated." she criticized.

"And you wonder why I keep my crazy lives separate." she shot back. Arella looked hurt but said nothing. She stood up walked away.

Rachel spoke into the controller like her mother did. "I am an asshole."

* * *

><p><strong>The Next Day<strong>

"So you can't tell me what company it is?" Rachel asked dealing with a client.

"For certain security reasons no. But we can tell you it involves selling books online."

"Do you know what you want?"

"We heard you were the one who got the guy from GQ." she nodded. "We need someone like him. Hell we need _him_!"

"I uhm.. no longer have a relationship with him." she cleared her throat.

"Can you get in touch with him somehow?"

"He's still in his first year of the contract. So that would be inappropriate."

"So is buying books at full price, but people do dumb shit."

* * *

><p>Richard tried calling her again but it went straight to voicemail <em>again<em>. He let the phone go black and in the reflection, he saw the building Rachel brought him to on his first night. He ran up and sat next to her.

"How did you know I was up here?" she asked.

"It's the only place in this city you don't get reception."

"Right." she said sourly.

"Why are you avoiding me?" he asked straight forward.

"I'm not."

"Really? That's the best you can come up with Rachel?" he smirked.

"I don't know if you've heard Richard! But I am seriously fucked up!" she screamed at him. He lost the smirk. "I mean Magnum P.I. couldn't figure out the shit going on in my head!" she quoted his words from the week before.

He rubbed his hand down his face in frustration with himself. "I'm sorry." he said quietly.

"You know what. I'm just going to go." she grabbed her purse and started walking away. "Maybe I'll try to figure out all the shit going on in my head." she spit the words out.

"Come on. You know I didn't mean it. I was just trying to get my sister off of my back. She kept thinking that we liked each other." he felt like a kid again.

"You know what? Me too. I thought we were friends. But friends don't go talking shit about each other. So I don't think we were ever friends. All you wanted was to get into my pants."

"What?"

"You practically jumped on me at your dad's place."

"You cracked your neck!" he tried to explain. "I thought it was a sign. We talked about this. Remember?"

"Really?"

"You pulled my robe off remember. 'Oopsie!'"

"Yeah and then you snuck out. 'Oopsie!'"

"Wait a second!" he held out his hands to stop her. He appeared to be in disbelief. "Are you pissed off at me because we didn't cuddle?" at this she let out a scoff. "Isn't that why we started this whole arrangement? _You _wanted this!"

"Wait, _I _wanted this?" she asked quietly. "_Just? Me_? Wow. You are just like every other guy. And you know what the sad thing about this is I thought you really might be different."

"Different from what?" he asked "I'm not your boyfriend. I'm your friend."

"Well with friends like you, who needs friends?" she asked sarcastically her voice breaking a little bit. She walked away and turned back at the last minute. "Oh and by the way. Thanks for ruining my mountain top. Asshole." she left as fast as she could.

"Sir you can't be up here." a security guard called to Dick after a few moments of silence.(Except for the city.)

"Okay."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." he said looking out at the city once more before leaving. "I'm fine." he told himself a little softer.

* * *

><p><strong>The Next Day<strong>

Rachel got a call on her cell phone and it was her employer telling her that Richard had taken a meeting with the book company. The cheapskates actually went straight to Richard instead of opting to pay Rachel. She hunted Richard down at a sports photoshoot and started talking to him.

"You met for another job?" she hissed. "What are you leaving?"

"Maybe. I don't know. I took one meeting."

"What is this some kind of payback?"

"What?"

"You know if you leave now, I don't get my bonus!" he pulled her to the side.

"If I leave, I'll write you a check for your stupid bonus."

"Why didn't you tell me you were looking?"

"That's personal. And we're not friends anymore. You made that perfectly clear." she looked away. "You see, all I wanted was to have sex with you, let you be the best friend I've ever had, and open up to you like I've never done with any other person. Then when the sex stopped, introduce you to my family. So yeah. I'm a god awful friend. I'll send you a check if I get the job."

"Don't bother." she refused bitterly and walked away.

* * *

><p><strong>At Richard's Apartment<strong>

He called Donna. "So dad's coming up tomorrow?"

"Yeah. He's leaving at nine our time."

"Um. Six hour flight, leaving at nine your time and we're three hours behind." he thought, "So that's? Thirty-two."

"What the hell? Five. Be there at five Richard!"

"Got it."

"How's Rachel?"

"That's over."

"Dick!" she yelled into the phone. "I actually liked her!"

"We're done."

"Don't be an idiot Richard."

"I'll pick dad up tomorrow thirty-two sharp." he joked.

"Fine. Love you bro."

"Love you too sis." he hung up.

* * *

><p>"You want some motherly love advice?" Arella asked her daughter.<p>

"Not really mom."

"Good. Cause I don't know how to do that. But what I do know what to tell you is that you're afraid of repeating my mistakes." Rachel laughed. "You want to know how many men in my life I thought were really perfect?"

"Eighty." she answered without hesitation.

"One." she said.

"Really? Eighty-one?" she asked.

"Just one." she said seriously. "Your father."

"Do you really not remember dad or is it like a coping mechanism?"

"A little of both." they laughed. "Sweetie, I know you're waiting for your Prince Charming. But he's not coming in a white horse drawn carriage. That's just not you." Rachel looked at her mom "_You_ should be looking for a man to be your partner when you're looking for a Prince Charming. Someone you could take the world by storm with. You better update your fairytale. You know who my Prince Charming is?"

"No."

"You." she said seriously.

"Mom." she said taken aback. Her mother hugged her and she fell into it. As if it really were a mother's hug.


	8. Not Third Eye Blind

**A/N: I should have mentioned. I'm a bit of a compulsive poster. I reread the text and not the A/N:'s lolz. But THIS is the last chapter. And I hope you like it.**

**Review Responses**

**black rose- raven angel: You know. I wouldn't rule that out. lolz. Jk. He'll get there on time. I hope you enjoy!**

**Mewgirl223: Lolz. I love your reviews. They make me laugh. I hope you like this chapter. Also, _I'm_ not even sure who they are. It's all up to readers.**

**Final Chapter. I think I'll post a new Bride Wars 2 Chapter after this.**

* * *

><p><strong>Airport<strong>

"Hey dad." Richard greeted his father at the airport. "How was the flight?"

"Did you know they stopped serving meals on airplanes? I'm starved." he laughed as they walked to an airport cafe.

"Let's get you something to eat."

The two had been waiting for about forty minutes for one table. Richard tried to get pushed to the top of the list to no avail. He turned to see his father gone. He looked around and saw him without pants on looking at a menu. And sitting at an empty table.

"Are you going to join me?" he asked his son. Richard took a look around at everybody staring and whispering. But then he looked at his father and remembered Rachel's advice.

"Absolutely." he ignored the stares and sat down.

"Can I get a steak medium-rare?" his dad asked the waitress who had come over to escort them out.

"Sir you can't just-" she began but Richard cut her off.

"Make that two." Richard chimed in. And she put the order in. Their food came and as they ate, his dad believed he saw Dee Arlengton. He called to her. "Dee! Dee!" but she didn't answer him. People stared but Richard didn't care.

"Dad. Who _is _Dee?" he was curious. He hadn't heard the name as a child and he couldn't remember his father mentioning her before Rachel and he last visited.

"She was the love of my life." he admitted to his son.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"It's not something you'd discuss with your kids. I have you and Donna and I have no regrets."

"Then tell me now." he said seriously.

"I loved her." he started again "But I was too stupid to realize it. And I can't even remember what it was to make me lose her. But I know it's one of the reasons why your mom left." he continued. "And my friends used to tell me that when we looked at each other there were sparks in the air. But I just let her go. I completely let her go. Because I was too damn proud to tell her how I felt. And son I know you've heard it before. But life is short. And if there's anything this disease has taught me its that life is too short to waste a minute of it on pride!" he looked at his father with saddened eyes. "I'm sorry." he apologized for going off.

"It's okay dad." There were a few seconds of silence. "You know that girl Rachel? The girl I brought home?" he started.

"Yeah. What's going on with her?"

"I think I messed it up."

"Then do what you did whenever you thought something was messed up as a kid. You've always been creative. Always took the good parts of something crappy and made it beautiful." Richard smiled at the fact his dad could remember some things. "Don't make the same mistakes I did. Fix it."

"She won't talk to me." He shook his head.

"There's always a way. If you think for a second, that this girl is the one you've been waiting for, then you fix it." he said sternly and full of love.

"Did Donna put you up to this?"

"Who's Donna?" he asked. Richard looked wide eyed and tried hard to breathe. "I'm kidding. You're so easy! Am I not allowed to joke about this?" Richard just laughed.

"Christ dad!"

"It's the only thing I can do to keep from getting too serious."

"Lets go." he put down money and hailed a taxi. He used his cell phone and called a few people. He gave them specific times to do certain things. But he didn't count on his own scheduele being interferred with. The first ten minutes of the hour long trip were fine. Then they hit the heavy traffic that was Jump City.

"We're never going to make it in time." his father said.

"Way to be optimistic daddy dearest."

"I can't help but feel if we still had my boat, we'd be there by now." he rubbed his head.

"Boat." he said sitting up. He had to make one last call.

"Hey Harper. I need a favor."

* * *

><p><strong>The Center of Jump City<strong>

"Mom where are you?"

"I'm next to the guy in a suit." she said checking her watch

"There a thousands of guys in suits. Its Jump City!"

"Okay, then look for the one I'm standing next to." she said from her couch. All of a sudden she heard Kriss Kross playing, "Have a good night and look to the stairs across from you baby." she hung up the phone. Rachel looked across and saw Richard. The song changed to the song he sang when they first had sex. People around them started dancing. It was like a flash mob just for her. "I called in a few favors!" he called over the music.

_Closing time_

_One last call for alcohol_

"What the hell is this?" she asked still a little mad.

"Its Closing Time. It's actually by Semisonic. Not Third Eye Blind. Can you believe it?" this caused her to give a bit of a smirk.

"I meant the gesture as a whole."

"I screwed up. I was scared. But why wouldn't I be? You saw what happened to my parents. I know you want your life to be like a movie where you find your prince charming but you might have to settle for me." he made his way towards her. "I was stupid for thinking I didn't really want you Rachel. Whenever I hear somebody curse I think of you blinking, and then whenever I hear about a kid being cured through cancer treatment, I pray that its not that doctor douche that dumped you. Don't get me wrong curing cancer is great, but not by that dickdouche." she laughed

"The truth is, I really do love having you as a friend. And I know you do too. I think we could be either friends or boyfriend and girlfriend and love each other no matter what. And I felt amazing that night at my parents house because we didn't have sex. We made love that night." he brushed a lock of her hair from her face. "And don't deny you don't care about me either." she said nothing. "I love you Rachel. I'm swallowing my pride. I love you and I don't want to lose you." He took her out of the crowd and led her to the steps he was on before.

"I miss you Rachel."

"I miss you too. But you're not wrong." she admitted. "I am fucked up. I'm emotionally damaged."

"So am I. That makes us great people." he laughed.

"Yeah I guess." she agreed. He kneeled down, took her hand and she freaked out. "No. No! What the hell are you doing? Get up before-"

"Shut up Rachel. It's not what you think." she relaxed. "Will you be my best friend again?"

"Oh this is so lame." she said smiling a little bit.

"Oh _I_ know. But its _your _Prince Charming shit isn't it?"

"Get up." she told him rolling her eyes.

"I can live without ever having sex with you again. It would be really _really _hard. But I want my best friend back because I'm in love with her." she chuckled dryly then looked him dead in the eyes.

"Kiss me." she said simply.

"What? Why?"

"It's what happens at the end of movies. Just do it." and he did. They kissed passionately as the song ended. They pulled apart.

_Every other beginning _

_Comes from some other beginning's end _

"So what do we do now?" Rachel asked.

"I think we should go on our first real date." he suggested.

"Coffee?" she asked smiling.

"Sure."

"We should take this slow." Richard suggested as they walked.

"Absolutely. No rushing in this time." Rachel nodded and agreed. They stood there looking at each other awkwardly. Then there eyes met.

"Oh fuck it." he said and captured her lips with his.

**15 Mins Later in Rachel's Apartment**

"My neck." Rachel commanded. "Get my neck." She moved against him and brushed his chin.

"Watch the chin!" he warned her through laughs. All of a sudden he sneezed.

"God Grayson!" she complained.

"Just kidding." he whispered against her skin.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: What can I say? I just love weird endings. lolz. Thx to all who reviewed and enjoyed. This was a joy to write. And its my first M story so... yayz!**


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